Ah, traffic. It's hard enough without idiots on the road, but idiots there are aplenty. We pored through months of photos on Sri Lanka Traffic Violations (like!) to find the most common offenders on the roads. Here's the Top 6:
1. The Zebra Poacher
No creature is more endangered than a zebra crossing in Sri Lanka.
Cars will park on the zebra like it's dead, or they weave through pedestrians with blatant disregard. Sri Lanka also has constant reports of people being killed on pedestrian crossings, often children and families. It's just too much. Save the Zebra!
The Actual Rules
- Pedestrians have priority, because they're soft
- Do not park or stop your car on a crossing
- Do not overtake at a crossing
- If a pedestrian is using or about to use a crossing, stop
2. The Idiot Laner
Traffic? No problem. Just make your own lane. This is what the good folks at Sri Lanka Traffic Violations call the Idiot's Lane. Because it's for idiots.
The fun part about this is that the end result is usually no one getting anywhere. When you create a lane on the other side, you end up blocking traffic in all directions. Congratulations!
The Actual Rules
- There are separate lanes for you and people going the other way
- If there's a dotted line, you can temporarily go into the oncoming lane to pass a vehicle
- If traffic is stopped and you do this, you're being an idiot
3. The Bully
Lord defend us from Defenders. Todays VVIPs (VIP isn't enough) break every traffic law possible and act mad at everyone else.
The latest outrage is not the government convoys, it's people that put their own (illegal) flashing lights on the dashboard, to complement their high-beams and honking horns. This species is an offender in basically all categories here, plus some other novel ones, like abducting people.
The Actual Rules
- Every vehicle has equal rights on the road, unless you're an ambulance
- If you're not an ambulance and yet you're horning and pushing, you may be an idiot
4. The Selfish Turner
When you gotta go, you gotta go. This type decides they need to turn late and is quite happy cutting across every lane of traffic in order to do it.
There's actually a range of diverse offenders in this category. You have the chap here who has decided to enter traffic while traffic isn't moving, inconveniencing everyone.
You also have the head-starter, people that ignore turning lanes and just creep ahead, blocking lanes behind them, parking on pedestrian crossings, whatever.
Then there are people who decide to take u-turns in the middle of traffic, just because.
The Actual Rules
- There is usually a turning lane, which you should get into early
- If you miss the turning lane, this is not other people's problem, go around
- There is a line drawn where traffic should stop. Just because you can fit a vehicle past this line doesn't mean that you should
5. Box Cutter
These mysterious markings on the pavement actually mean something, they mean to keep the space clear. for many people, however, they regard it as just another part of the road.
The result, of course, is that no one moves. Traffic can be completely stopped but people will not leave the box clear. They'd rather move 2-inches ahead than let intersecting traffic get through. The result is congestion in every direction.
The Actual Rules
- Box junctions are meant to be clear so won't completely block an intersection
- If you can get across the box junction, go ahead, if you think you'll get stuck there, don't. Pretend like it's full of crocodiles
6. Idiot Parking
This is by far the most common offense on Sri Lankan Traffic Violations. Never mind people that can't drive, at least they move along after a while. People that can't park are the worst.
The Actual Rules
- Honestly, just take a PickMe, why are you driving and parking at all?
- If you must park, look out for the new parking attendants and pay them
- If everyone is parking in a certain direction, don't try something else. There's no need for innovation here
Are those all the idiots you find in traffic. Of course not. Tell us if you can think of more, and check out Sri Lankan Traffic Violations for constant amusement/sadness.
This post is also available in Sinhala, and is brought to you by Carmudi.lk!
