Artwork for U Pay Oct 2018

Types of People You Get In Tuition Classes

The title says it all.

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Tuition classes are an indispensable element in every kid's life, despite the school or grade they're in. It gets serious when the kid is about to sit for a public examination. Even if their thoughts of 'doing' the exam means turning up and catching up on sleep, tuition is recognized as an effective extra coaching method.

During my years as a dismal teenager trying to not disappoint my parents, I witnessed many wonderful and disastrous things. This includes copious amounts of weirdos such as myself who were stuck in facilities of learning with bathrooms with stenches so bad, they put shin guards after hockey practice to shame. 

Nevertheless, after many a day trapped in freezing classes listening to droning teachers, we have managed to list out the various kinds of people you meet at a typical tuition class in Colombo. 

The Socialite 

This specific type of teenager initially comes to class with the intentions of trying to pass an exam. Unfortunately, their exceptional skills in socializing get in the way of their education to make them the class Socialite.

Easily identifiable by the hundreds of 'Hi's and hugs they distribute to various people of varying genders, this species is generally harmless to those of you who come to learn. But it can be a bit of a pain after class when your socially klutzy self is made to feel like an awkward sponge in a pool of starfish who know each other really well.

Island First

We all know at least one of this kind. They come to class with the aim of becoming the teacher’s fav, passing the exam and ending up on a board somewhere with District First written under their name. Which they do generally achieve. *Applause.

Completed with enough pressure from their parents to end them in Mulleriyawa, these beings generally sit somewhere near the teacher who uses their book/tute to give answers to the rest of the class. Although sympathized by everyone else in the class, they aren't very popular amongst the general student body. Simply because his/her marks will be told to your parents (by the teacher) who will then proceed to make you feel like crap about your marks till the day you die. 

The Suck Up

This group of teenage individuals is the ones you go to when you want a break, but you can’t say anything because the sir doesn’t know you exist.

This group of people can either be a real pain in the a** or the holy ghost. There is no in between. Mainly seen complementing the teacher, this type can either be your saving grace when you can't be bothered getting any work done or the douchebag no one likes, who can't stop sucking up to the teacher. 

Nevertheless, there comes a time when you meet that one set of unfortunates who complement the teacher but is still unable to be liked by said teacher. You're trying too hard lad. Just let it go already! 

Dressed to Impress

Probably the easiest to identify from everyone on this list. Dressed to the nines, completed with eyeliner, lipstick, and fumes of deodorant trailing behind them to suffocate anyone follows them, they're forever ready for a photo shoot. 

As the subheading suggests, this group of individuals comes to class with the sole purpose of finding someone of the opposite gender. After which, they will proceed to bunk class and hang out at MC with said other individuals. 

Note: I wasn’t kidding about the lipstick. I have seen things, I tell you. And I’m not exaggerating when I say that some of these individuals possess accents of varying countries. Particularly Australian and American. Beware. 

The low-key here-to-judge

The scariest category by far. This particular set of individuals generally don’t restrict themselves to any of the other ‘weirdos’ on this list. They proceed to silently feel themselves some higher being, there to judge others from the corners of the classroom. Especially the ones belonging to the dressed to Impress category. They are identifiable by their silent widening of eyes and glances at other individuals of the same category.

Even though I make them sound like Satan’s children, they’re all not that bad. That side only comes on random occasions.

The one who’s never at class

We all know his/her name. We just don’t know what he/she looks like.

Mister Mysterio

Generally found at the back corner of the class, often with earphones on till the sir/madam enters and then leaves the class like the plague has hit once the time's up.

This individual isn’t found in every class, but I have had the privilege of sharing a few classes with someone of this category. No one knows who he/she is, no one knows how he/she came to class. All we know is that within the year, he/she will disappear, never to be seen again.

The Fan Club

This set of human beings are pretty readily found in almost every classroom. Comprising generally of females (male groups exist too), they can be identified by giggles and their ability to take multiple selfies during class while giving the side eye to boys.

During breaks, they are generally seen showing videos and pictures of Kim Woo Bin and other celebrities to each other. However, this must be notified. They travel in packs, so, you might want to give them some space.

The Posh Ones

Generally, from some fancy school in Colombo, they’re the ones who don’t use the bathroom in the institute no matter how bad they want to go. Like The Fan Club, they travel in packs and they don’t ever mix.

Although intimidating at first glance, they’re not bad people. Just horrible at communicating with everyday humans. You know, in the mother tongue.  

The Others

Well, there's a whole bunch of other people you'd meet at a tuition class, like the one who watches football videos under the table or the one who's there because their parents are waiting outside. And then there's the one who has a low-key crush on the sir/madam, but let's not go there. Please. 

This post was written solely based on my friends and my experiences with tuition classes. Just to be clear, almost everyone you meet at tuition classes is lovely people, no matter what category they lead more towards. And if you do see yourself in one of these categories. DW, you do you boo.

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