Pizza Hut (Attidiya).

The rebel in us can’t help but sneak in an occasional slice of
not-so-traditional pizza. Pizza Hut, with its chunky base and stringy cheese was
once one of the few places in town to grab pizza before more authentic options like
Harpo’s
and Giovanni’s came along. Turns out, this unorthodox Protestant empire
has now expanded even to the swampy marshes of Attidiya. Can pizza, the rice-and-curry
of Rome, be any good so far from civilisation?

Ambience and Service

Attidiya was once a far cry from Colombo. It had a variety of birds dotting
its sky, snakes were a common pest, and there was even a crocodile in its canals a few
decades ago. Barbarians. So it came as a surprise that development schemes led to the sacrifice of diversity in favour of a concrete jungle. Pizza Hut was one of the many companies that took
refuge in a concrete box to dish out පීසා
රොටිය 
as our Raja
Ibbo friends call it.

The place isn’t all that bad. It’s clean and well-lit, so it’s no surprise that many Attidians stop by for an evening
meal. Beware though, there are just enough seats for about 15- 20 people, so on a busy evening, you might need to get take-away. 

Being a remote outpost, the staff here seem to be fresh recruits drawn into
service as cheesy Legionnaires of the chain. We found them helpful, friendly,
and pretty efficient. Our order of three pizzas was out in 10 minutes, which is
pretty quick by all standards.

Mama Mia?

Pizzas at the Pizza Hut chain are actually quite pricey. A Devilled Chicken medium came to a rather substantial Rs. 800, while a small Ultimate Cheese Treat came to wallet-whipping Rs. 500. The strange
thing is that a large meatball crown crust cost us just shy of Rs. 500. However, for each additional topping that came as a part of the Meat Lovers flavour, there was an additional charge of Rs. 300. Zoinks.

The medium Devilled Chicken was a bit of a disappointment. With thick, pan-fried, oily dough the pizza was heavy and stole the heat from the devilled
chicken topping. On the bright (unhealthy) side, this allows for a crunchy
bite. Kids might enjoy this one. The topping, which is usually good, was dominated by the overpowering dough in this case, leaving texture, but little taste.

I quite liked the small pan Cheese Treat. With a slather of various types
of (undoubtedly) cheap cheese, the pizza makes the ideal surprise for that
hipster vegetarian kid you know. There’s a nice pickle to add a bit of heat
and an occasional blob of processed cheese that melts nicely in the
mouth. But once again, the thick pan crust kicks in to rob the pizza of its
flavour. My fault for ordering a pan pizza, I guess. If you’re someone who
holds taste over sheer heft, get a thin crust. Vice versa for those of you who
prefer quantity.

The meatball crown crust Meat Lovers pizza was quite the surprise. Though
you’ll be paying lots for the toppings, the flavour of this pizza almost
makes up for the terrible Ninja Turtles movie release last year.
Mmmm Megan Fox. The pizza, which I
customised to include beef pepperoni (heresy!), sausage, bbq chicken
and devilled chicken, was an absolute blast of smoky flavours. This was good stuff. The crust wasn’t that bad either. With the thin dough allowing
the topping adequate space along with the added meatballs, this pizza is highly recommended if you’re a carnivorous crackerjack like moi.

For drinks, we tried the double chocolate shake. Don’t. It’s essentially a
normal milkshake with a bit of chocolate sauce thrown in to double your
expenses.

We also tried Pizza Hut’s new range of ice cream. The Creamizza. Seriously, Pizza
Hut? Creamizza? How much are you allocating to R & D? -_- By the time
one finishes saying Creamizza, the ice cream’s already melted. In my experience, you’re
better off buying a premium Elephant House tub on the way
home. There were nice chocolate
sprinkles, but they were far too sparse to make a difference. The Creamizza was hard, heavy and had too little
flavour to be considered a premium range. This Creamizza is so hard that if one were to go by Arthurian legend, he who pulls the spoon out from the ice cream will be the next
king of England. Sorry, Charles.

The sword in the stone.

Conclusion

Pizza Hut is okay if you know what exactly you want. Avoid the drinks and the
desserts and you should be fine.

Is it worth your dough? *snicker* Well, that depends on what you order.

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