10 Things You Need To Know Before You Have Sex.

We teamed up with the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) to bring you some basic tips everyone should know before their first sexual encounter (well, before every sexual encounter). Follow the links for more information, more articles, and more research.

Sex isn't a dark sordid secret – it's one of the keystones of humanity.

Despite this, friendly and accurate advice on sex and sexual health is hard to find in Sri Lanka. In fact, many schools lack delivery of comprehensive sexual and reproductive education. We’ve even found out that some school teachers staple up the sex-related pages of the Biology text book (what a waste of education. And staples!).

Are you ready? Let's talk about sex, baby!

1. You can say NO!

What is consent? It means that you're in charge of your body and you are aware of it. As long as you're not harming anyone, you get to choose what you do with it, who gets to touch it, and when and how that happens. Consent means both partners agree and are enthusiastic.

If you're not really into it, DO NOT let anyone coerce, wheedle, emotionally blackmail, or make you feel uncool for not having sex. Violence is not only physical, it's mental or emotional too.

If you're not sure if someone wants to have sex with you, just ask. Any response except for a resounding "YES", means they do not want to have sex, and you shouldn't try and make them via emotional coercion ("why don't you love me?"), coercion ("if you don't have sex with me, I'll tell people about us"), intoxication (wait till they're drunk or on drugs to try and sexually approach them) or any other types of persuasive methods.

No means no.

2. Anatomy

You'd be surprised at how vague the average person's knowledge of male and female anatomy and functioning is. There's a lot more going on than just penis and vagina, and if you're going to have sex, you should probably know what you're using.

For example, according to the National Youth Health Survey* over 50% of Sri Lankan male youth claimed they didn't know about the menstrual cycle, and some 60% of Sri Lankan female youth said they didn't know about the male reproductive system or physiology.

*Source: Family Health Bureau, Ministry of Health, UNFPA and UNICEF (2013)

3. Infections are very real.

Any sexually active person can get them, and they aren't always physically obvious or noticeable to the eye.

  • You're not immune if it's your first time.

  • Anal or oral sex does not protect you from STIs

  • You cannot use a siri siri bag as a condom. You cannot use anything except a condom as a condom. Just use a condom.

ALWAYS insist on a condom unless you have gotten tested and have discussed family planning with your partner.

TIP: Urinating right after you have sex is great for your body, especially if you're a woman. The stream pushed out potentially harmful bacteria that could travel up your (relatively short) urethra.

4. Understand contraception

The best ways to avoid unwanted pregnancy is:

  • Complete abstinence

  • Use a condom

  • Use regular oral contraceptive pills

  • Use an IUD or implant

  • An injectable

  • Use an emergency contraceptive (also called the morning after pill. This should be used ONLY in emergencies, as it's not good for your body and  if you use it often, its efficiency drops)

5. Sex should make you happy!

Good, consensual sex with a partner you trust releases endorphins, leads to greater intimacy, and stronger bonds. However, if you're in pain, if you're miserable, if you don't feel good during or after intercourse, STOP. You don't have to grit your teeth and bear it like you're getting your tooth removed. You do not have a duty to have sex just because everyone else is doing it, you need to "prove your love" to anyone, or because you're in a relationship. Okay, sometimes things could get uncomfortable, in which case you should have…

6. A little more conversation, a little less action, please

Open and honest communication is probably the best thing for anyone's sex life, whether you're with someone new or your long term life partner. You'd be surprised at what respectful conversation could do for your relationship and comfort. Talk about what makes you uncomfortable, what you like and want more of, or how you feel.

7. Sex is a responsibility.

It's not all slow-motion grunting like in the movies. The consequences of sexual activity are vast, in terms of pregnancy, infection, relationships, and emotions. Make sure both you and your partner are ready, consensual, and of a legal age.

Teen pregnancy is a very real problem in Sri Lanka, mostly due to a lack of information  – According to UNFPA Sri Lanka, 6% of 15-19 year olds girls have had a baby/or were pregnant. Since abortions are legal only in very particular circumstances in Sri Lanka, many illicit methods and clinics that provide this service in less-than-optimal conditions, which could lead to infection or even death.

HIV/AIDS is not rampant in Sri Lanka, but it is still present and the number of cases have increased in recent years. Make the most of Sri Lanka’s free healthcare, and get yourself and your partner tested before you have sex.  

8. Local Laws

Find out where you stand in Sri Lanka's legality before you have sex. The local age of sexual consent is 16. Individuals aged 15 or younger in Sri Lanka are not legally able to consent to sexual activity, and such activity may result in prosecution for statutory rape.

As it stands, "unnatural acts", which is read as homosexual activity, are still criminalised in Sri Lanka.

9. Porn does not equal real life

Sri Lanka has topped the Google search list for the word ‘sex’ consecutively since 2011, this shows that there are a lot of questions about sex out there which end up getting answered by the easiest source – pornography. In reality, porn isn’t a great source of safe or reliable sex practices – there’s rarely any condom usage, and sex is usually way rougher, faster, or louder than it is in reality. Get ready for a lot more mutual communication, fumbling, and hair!

So don’t expect anything more than a needle jab from your nurse, and remember that porn is about fantasies, and real life sex is about mutual pleasure and connection.

10. Sri Lanka has great information and services on sexual and reproductive health!

The United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) has a wealth of accurate and reliable information on sexual and reproductive health in Sri Lanka, which you can access via srilanka.unfpa.org  

The UNFPA has also developed an app that provides easy-to-understand sexual reproductive health information in English, Sinhala, and Tamil (Available on Android – 'UNFPA Able')

  • Health Education Bureau "Suwasariya" Health Helpline- 0710 107 107


Make sure you check out our video for a more in-depth overview of the dos and don’ts when it comes to sex. YAMU has created this content in consultation with experts at UNFPA Sri Lanka.

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on whatsapp



Spanish & French fusion restaurant – Hola Bonjour review

Our cloud kitchen revolves around our chef Lucas Francois, who has years of experience in

Kamu Slider

Your go-to restaurant in Chilaw – Clement’s Chilaw review

By Warsha Dissanayake We visited Clements brand new outlet based in Chilaw towards the evening


Holy crepes at Crepe Runner – Bambalapitiya

By Maryam Rizwan No one does crepes as good as Crepe Runner does. Starting from


Don’t chai this at home – Karak review

By Warsha Dissanayake Looking for some downtime?Is it time to take a break off of


Nutella-filled goodness at Crepeholics

Crepeholics located in the middle of Mount Lavinia is packed with a variety of crepes


Kailasa Street Food Cafe

This place is long overdue and something Colombo needed so bad. Kailasa street food, serving



70th anniversary Diplomatic Relations between Sri Lanka and Japan

In commemoration of the 70th anniversary of the establishment of diplomatic relations between Sri Lanka


Suriya’s Jai Bhim wins five awards at Studioflicks Film Awards 2021

By MR The Tamil film industry has turned the global spotlights in 2021 for releasing


5 BlackBerry models we will miss

By Ruchika Seneviratne It truly is an end of an era as BlackBerry has announced

Slider Trending

Elephant House – Feel Good Range

We all grew up eating Elephant House ice cream, whether it was to wrap up



Cinnamon Bentota Beach added a vintage touch to its award-winning art and architecture during the ‘Classic Car Run’ recently.


Yamu Guide.

5 home appliances you should upgrade to in 2022 

It is the new year and the COVID-19 pandemic seems to be still lurking around,

Slider Yamu Guide

Style 2022 with these 5 items from Mimosa

By MI Welcoming 2022 with style and elegance Mimosa recently located to 20 Bagatalle Road,

Slider Yamu Guide

5 ways SLASH will help you make more out of 2022!

By Warsha Dissanayake Ever wanted to get the maximum use for the products you are

Yamu Guide

Ten of the Richest Men in the World

By Rahma Rifkhan Custom-designed suits, extravagant cars, luxurious mansions, global fame and a net-worth of

Slider Yamu Guide

9 NGOs and Youth Movements to join in 2022

By Hiruni Herath NGOs have somewhat of a bad reputation in Sri Lanka and Youth

Slider Yamu Guide

New shopping experience at the Keells on Lauries Road

Keells is reinventing your shopping experience in the best way possible. Because of the pandemic,

Yamu Guide


ලොව බිහිසුනුම දාම ඝාතිකාවන් (Woman serial killers) 10 දෙනෙක්

By Yesha Fernando කාන්තාවන් කිව්වම හැමවෙලාවෙම වගේ අපේ ඔලුවේ මැවෙන්නේ හරි සංවේදී, ආදරණීය පිරිසක්. ලෝකයේ


2022 සැමරුම හොඳටම කරපු රටවල් 10 ක්  

By Yesha Fernando මරණය, කුසගින්න, විරැකියාව, ආර්ථික අවපාතය, දේශපාලන අර්බුද යනාදී ගෝලීය දුෂ්කරතා රැසක් මැදින්


හොරු අතරට අලුතින් එක් වූ “ජංගි හොරා”

By Yesha Fernando මෙරට සියලු ආකාර හොරු අතරට එක්වූ අලුත්ම හොරා "ජංගි හොරා" යි. මෙකී

Featured Sinhala

Squid Game අපට කියා දෙන ජීවිත පාඩම් 6 ක්

ත්‍රාසය, ශෝකය, කුතුහලය වගේම මෙයට වඩා තවත් බොහෝ ජීවිත පාඩමුත් Squid Game කථාංග නවයට ඇතුළත්.


පිස්සුම නව අවුරුදු සිරිත් විරිත් 6 ක්

එහෙනම් කට්ටියම තමන්ගේම ක්‍රමේකට 2022 පිළිගන්න ලේස්ති වෙමු.

Sinhala Trending