How to Buffet.

For the universal love of food, here's a guide that will help you stuff your face.

For the universal love of food, here's a five minute crash course on how to look like that uncle with the big belly.

For the universal love of food, here's all that you need to take every bit of that buffet. #NoRegrets #YOLO #WhereMyBundiAt


1. Do not eat anything two hours prior to the buffet

If you're going to eat, why eat before that? Why would you want to quit after the first serving? You are a winner, not a quitter! You got this, bro!

2. Work Out

If you feel a little athletic and healthy, work out before heading to whereever you are headed to for that buffet. Burning a few calories might help your bundi look less uncle-y and will create some extra space for some extra stuffing.

3. Wear loose clothes

If you're going to show up in a nice, tight pink dress, you might go home looking like a freshly made candy floss.

All that stuffing will also make you really uncomfortable when that shirt button pops open at your belly. If you can wear PJs, go ahead. Snoozing immediately after will be made easier.

4. Select the right crowd

You know how when you were in school your mom prayed you would be friends with the one who always came 1st hoping their influence on you might make you come 15th and not 23rd? Apply the same to this. Select the right people to sit with. You don't wanna torment yourself by sitting with the girls who love their chicken caesar salad or the boys who hit the gym at 5 PM to get the abs.

Sit with the gluttons to enter the glorious period of gluttony.

5. Skip the nonsensical veggies and salads

How hard is it to cut up some tomatoes, cucumbers, and mix them with an easy dressing? Not very hard. So, skip all that you can eat at home. You don't need the vitamins for the night. I believe salads are kept as a means of deterring people from the good stuff so it doesn't run out. 

If you're vegetarian, by all means, eat them carrots. If you have a problem with this guideline, please lettuce know.

6. Don't go overboard on the rice, noodles, buns and other carbs

This is not a buth kadey. You don't have to make a mountain of rice, unless you love big buths and you cannot lie. 

Take small portions because while carbs are the good stuff (I <3 gluten), there are better food to follow.

7. Slow down. Take  breaks.

The buffet won't run away. Calm down. Slow down. It's not a race. The chicken won't run out. Even if it does, they will refill it.

A buffet is also not a two hour long Econ paper. So, just take your time. Slow and steady wins the race. In this case, slow and steady will get you that belly (but it will be worth it!).

(However, if you arrive at 10.50 pm, then rush. EAT ALL OF IT, AND EAT ALL OF IT FAST, WHILE ALSO SAVORING THE TASTE. MULTITASK!)

8. Where dem protein gainz at? 


If you're a vegetarian, well, look disgustingly at the ones who devour the meat. Cruel creatures. Appalling. Disgusting. Give them the "wtf, bro?" looks.

With reference to the above, my dear non-veggies, just overlook it. It's fine. Haters will hate.

9. Do NOT stop at just one plate.

If you're going to stop with one serving, stop and rethink your life. You might as well have just ordered off the a la carte menu.

Chefs do not slave away to see people give up after their first serving.

10. Do NOT be shy

Don't care about what others think of you. Don't care about that hot girl who might wonder if you time travelled from the stone age. Don't care about your lipstick being smudged.


Embrace the buffet beauty. Nourish your tastebuds. Delight your stomach.  

11. Keep room for dessert

Buffets usually have a range of desserts that will blow your mind in to the land of diabetes. Thus, family planning for that food baby helps. 

12. Try to get each and everything served (except for raw veggies 'cos mehhh)

The true beauty of a buffet is the array of food. So try it all because your ammi won't be serving you fettucine alfredo with chicken and tiramisu anytime soon. 

13. Down that green tea

You might not like having an uncle belly, unless you are an uncle because as per uncle rules, you will have no choice. 

Green tea shall save you! 

Congratulations, you are now ready for your next buffet. But if you're a real Sri Lankan, you were born ready for this! 

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on whatsapp




A Breezy Lunch At The Boardwalk

By Shamrina Carim Boardwalk is defined to be “A walk into a beautiful open air


Pizza Hut’s new Pan-Tastic Range

By Hashini Pathirana Pizza Hut has always been a favorite of us all ever since


The Spicy Mix at McDonald’s!

By Shamrina Carim McDonald's warmly introduces you to the Spicy Mix with a range of

Highlights Kamu

The one where Japan meets Sri Lanka!

By Shamrina Carim The one where Japan meets Sri Lanka! A vibrantly beautiful view overlooking

Highlights Kamu

Dine at Alhambra – Ramada’s Indian Restaurant

By Hashini Pathirana The aromatic fragrance of Indian Spices and the native hands of an

Kamu Yamu Guide

The Fusion Kottu at Eastern Wok

By Hiruni Herath Hot Butter Kottu - that’s not something you hear everyday but at

Highlights Kamu


Cinnamon Hotels and Resorts clinches Asia-Pacific Nature-based initiative of the year by Environmental Finance for climate stewardship

Cinnamon Hotels and Resorts recently won deserved recognition for its climate stewardship and active role


Basilur Tea opens an exclusive outlet at Bandaranaike International Airport

Premium tea gifting brand Basilur Tea expanded its network with the opening of its newest


5 New Attractions in Dubai

By Janani Vithanage Travelling to Dubai, the most capital of the most populated monarchy of

Highlights Trending

Jazz music tour organized across Sri Lanka celebrating the 2022 European Day of Languages

Eliane Amherd (L) and Amanda Ruzza COLOMBO (13 September 2022): The European Union (EU) together


Go Big with Deedat Design

Oversized T-shirt outfits have just recently become popular again– and we’re so excited! Not only

Highlights Trending

Hilton Colombo Celebrates 35 Years In Sri Lanka

Colombo, Sri Lanka – 8 September 2022 – Defining the bar of hospitality in the country,


Yamu Guide.

Buffet Round Up 2022

Buffets are every foodie's favourite stop. With an unlimited spread of flavours, variety of dishes

Highlights Yamu Guide

7 Things to Expect at the Colombo Book Fair 2022

Every September since 1999, the Bandaranaike Memorial International Conference Hall, colloquially known as BMICH, has

Highlights Yamu Guide

Day out Packages Under Rs. 5000 (2022)

As at September 2022 By RR We believe that spontaneity is good for health. Breaks

Highlights Yamu Guide

5 reasons to be a Scope Cinema Privilege Member

By RR Every time a new movie hits the big screens, the crowds always head

Yamu Guide

7 Restaurants to Dine in September

By RR If you can't travel the globe, eating food originating from every corner of

Highlights Yamu Guide

A Relaxing Retreat at South Lake Resort

South Lake Resort - a hotel located Down South that offers plenty of views at

Highlights Yamu Guide