Halloween has got to be the most mainstream and overrated day to reflect on everything scary. There's nothing scary about a girl dressed up as a cat for Halloween. Cats aren't scary unless you're a rat.
But if you think one day suffices to mull over that creepy girl from Ring 2 who crawls out of some queer, dried-up well looking like a bleached, slimmed down Harambe, think again because here is what ought to scare you more! If you're looking for costume ideas, check out our last year's Sri Lankan and Scary list.
1. Gossipy, jobless aunties
They can ruin your marriage, career and life.
"I saw this one's daughter with that one's son and they were walking down this road together! Holding hands and all!" – to be repeated to every aunty and with every aunty, as per the main rule in the Holy book of Aunty Antics, the sentiments shall be exaggerated by the power of 25.
2. Boys on the road who hiss at you in the sexiest possible manner
It's scary because they are so desirable when they go "nangiiiiii" *wink wink* *lip smackings* that you fear you'd fall in love with them and would desperately want to be more than just their nangi, unless incest is your thang.
3. Your mom when you see the 10 missed calls on your phone
Move over, Beats by Dr Dre, it's time for Beats by Amma.
4. When you show someone one picture in your phone gallery and they start swiping to see more
Your knees begin your weaken and your heart begins to imitate Usain Bolt.
NOOOOOO! DON'T SWIPE!
5. Your girlfriend when she's hungry
How to end this dilemma: When your girlfriend begins to act like that moody Maths teacher and replies with "K." to everything, rush to the nearest McDonald's. If she's a vegetarian, speed over to the nearest dosai kadey.
6. Results Day
These two words can destroy even the strongest of men and women. Even The Rock weakens a little and becomes The Pebble at the sweet sound of "Results Day".
7.That hot chick's buffed boyfriend
Let's not even go there. Literally. Because one inch closer and BOOOOM! Black eye.
Sorry, you're not Shah Rukh Khan. You can't rise from a pool of blood and throw in some Jackie Chan moves to whisk that girl away from her 6 feet tall boyfriend with that iron man chest.
Helpful hack – buy him enough whey protein to distract him and then make your moves. To be followed only if you don't love your life enough.
8. Accidentally liking someone's picture from 153 weeks ago
How to deal with this social media muddle? Don't hyperventilate. It's okay. Don't unlike the pic either because they're obviously bound to get the notification.
They'll just assume you were stalking them and then, mentally say "Hah! That's my stalker!" every time they see you. No big deal.
What should you do? Bury your head in shame. Have anxiety attacks every 5 minutes. Die with the aching memory of the accidental like (thanks to your not-so-smart phone).