Posted by
Kinita
It's not a compliment.
It's not boys being boys.
It's not flirtatious.
It's an act of aggression, informing you, as a woman, a gay man, or a trans person that when you walk in public space, your body is for public perusal. It's constant, it's horrible, and it happens to most women in Sri Lanka, as our poll reflects below.
It ranges from "ah nangi!", to a low exhale of breath "sssss" which sometimes poetically flows and evolves into the ever-charming "ssssexy" or the borderline Shakespearean "niiice, sexy, how! hott ammoo". If you're an openly gay man it will be classic stuff like "ponnaya" or "nachchi".
Apart from being predominantly female, it's pretty difficult to pin down an average victim type. Our poll showed women from all over the age spectrum, starting from as young as 12 and going up to late 60s. Gay men and trans people are frequent victims too.
Women of all ages, sizes, religious and ethnic backgrounds, and in a variety of clothing get harassed daily. In saris. In hijabs. With their young children. In work clothes. In office clothing. In school uniform.
Groundviews published a great piece earlier this year which actually maps street harassment, with markers and stories detailing encounters of everyday women, while #StreetHarassmentHurts also ran a pretty interesting campaign a couple of years ago, detailing the stories of many Colombo women.
That being said, it's probably time to stop trying to assess the demographics of the victims as clearly neither the moneyed Colombo elite, nor the stressed suburban mother of four, nor the hijab-donning adolescent schoolgirl are spared this daily verbal undressing.
It affects everyone. Even if you're a man and it's never happened to you, it indirectly affects your life. Women feeling unsafe and prone to attack, equals a host of negative repercussions for the country. How?
If 51% of the population feels too unsafe to step out on the street alone/ unaccompanied after dark, that's a massive chunk of people that will not take longer-hour jobs, will shirk employment far away, will not go shopping alone, will not go to restaurants/bars. It's a loss to businesses, it's a loss to the workforce, it's a loss to public transport.
Women also spend a lot of time (and money) in avoiding street harassment. We walk different (often longer) routes, we spend a ridiculous amount of money on private transport in order to escape bus groping, or we simply drive/taxi short distances to avoid walking on the road etc. Some women are fortunate enough to have the option to pay their way out of molestation and harassment by taking a taxi instead of walking or taking the bus. Many do not have that luxury.
Harassed tourists aren't going to take it lightly. Tripadvisor reviews, word of mouth, guidebooks, it all adds up. If Sri Lanka wants to create/ maintain a reputation for being women-friendly, irritating or molesting foreigners isn't the way to go about it.
It affects happiness. Many women are made to feel angry, scared, or attacked before they even get to work or school. This, in turn affects interactions between men and women. We are now often automatically hostile/ unresponsive to even perfectly innocent/ harmless male contact. You want directions? You just want to say hello? Forget about it. The decades of verbal abuse, stalking, and fear means the average woman on the street will probably ignore you and hastily move on. It's virtually impossible to meet people in Colombo or Sri Lanka that you don't already know via friends or family. Want new friends or to ask a pretty stranger out for coffee? Not going to happen.
NOTE : Interestingly enough, every man that I've spoken to about this has said that they've quite rarely seen it happen, since if they're with their female friend/co-worker/wife/ girlfriend, nothing happens. Is this because the cowardly road rats are scared of another man's "dominion"? Or do they respect another man more than they respect your right to exist without harassment? Another mystery of the universe.
Most people we polled did nothing. Ignored it and walked on. It's understandable - you just want to get away from the situation, ignore it, move on. Unfortunately you're then internalising a lot of that anger and irritation, instead of addressing the problem. Worst part? The perpetrators know they can get away with it, and will continue to act that way. What are your options?
Your biggest priority is your safety. If you're alone, in a secluded place, or feel that the situation might get out of hand, DO NOT confront your aggressors. Immediately text or loudly call a loved one and mention your exact location, and that you'll see them in a minute. Try and get out of the situation and into a crowded/better lit/ security presence area ASAP.
If you do feel safe, take a video or a photo of what's happening. It's proof, it's a way to hold them accountable, and it's a way to identify the perpetrators should you wish to follow up on #4 or #5. The fear of being identified also almost always makes them scatter/ stop.
If you're in a safe space, not outnumbered, or in potential harm's way, respond. Politely but firmly turn around and simply ask "What did you say to me?" or "Can you please repeat that for the camera?" or "Did you know you could go to jail for that?" in whatever language you are most comfortable in. Also ask them for their NIC number/ employment/ school/ whatever necessary to make it clear that there are repercussions. Sometimes, street harassment comes from a place of ignorance, and men literally not realising that their behaviour could be damaging or is unacceptable, especially if it's a social norm for them.
If you're feeling particularly sassy, try recreating these in Sinhala and handing them out to road pervs.
"Eve teasing" or "outraging the modesty of a woman" is a criminal offense. According to Penal Code (Amended) Act No.22 of 1995 – Sect 5
Whoever, by assault or criminal force, sexually harasses another person, or by the use of words or actions, causes sexual annoyance or harassment to such other person commits the offence of sexual harassment and shall on conviction be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to five years, or with fine or with both and may also be ordered to pay compensation of an amount determined by court to the person in respect of whom the offence was committed for the injuries caused to such person”
No, this isn't always the best option. Plenty of people would rather avoid the cops than appeal to them in cases like this, and there have been instances of cops actually doing the harassing. Even if you do file a case, you're bound to be subject to a bunch of questioning about where you were, why you were alone, and what you were wearing. So prepare for that.
A lot of street harassment comes from the raging hormones of school boys with few healthy female interactions, female friends, or the allowance of normal teenage behaviour. Since their only stab at freedom is around school events or school days, there's a full chance they will be in uniform. Ensure they know that you identify their school and will be in touch with their headmaster.
The older, but no more wiser types of harassers may also be in work uniform, or with name tags, or actually AT their place of work when they harass you. Last week, a waiter at the Bavarian waited till I was slightly separated from the group to hiss "ahh niiice hair" at me as we exited the building. Needless to say I won't be dining there again any time soon.
As ardently as we'd love to suggest pepper spray or tazers, it's going to land you in a pile of legal poop. If you feel genuinely cornered and want to take it to the cops, an identification spray purchased online can temporarily faze your attacker with a pungent smell, and leave them stuck with indelible ink. Easy to identify to the police, easy for embarassment.
If you see this happening to someone else, stand by them. You don't have to confront the aggressors. Just stand with the victim, talk to them, help them along. If you feel brave, and safe enough, you could always tell the harassers off too. Sri Lanka appears to have a huge problem with bystanders taking no notice/ not helping at all, as many of these testimonies show. If you're a man, use your "machang" card to neutrally address the perpetrator and inform them that real men treat people with respect.
Ah, Street Harassment, the ugliest one-way street of them all. The best way to end this exhausting bullshit? Systemic change, educational overhaul, and better ways for men to deal with sexual frustration (demystification of masturbation? a breakdown of the Madonna and Whore Complex?), and gentle explanations to ignorant perpetrators that their actions are unwelcome, and criminal.
For now, I think it's time people stopped putting their heads down and walking on. We're not weak, we're not a minority, and it takes only our collective silence as women and men in the face of disgusting behaviour to let it continue. And frankly, we deserve better.
Chocolate-biscuit-pudding is a dessert unique to Sri Lanka - here's an aunty showing you how it's done
The best dinner and drinks spots in Colombo for candlelit romancing.
Some of Colombo's popular restaurants that will be serving Ifthar during Ramadan 2017.
Ayubowan, down Horton Place is a pretty fancy spot you can get your rice and curry fix.
Colombo's only drive-through bakery. They've got good ice cream and amazing chocolate fudge cake.
Delete Comment
fighter
Welcome to a pornified society. Don't think the problem is one sided. Cat callers, are not born with a cat calling instinct. How many people do you know who watch porn actively ? how many people you know who has never seen porn ? whats the ratio ? how do you think it would affect the society at large. I think there needs to be education much before accusation. I am not a cat caller, neither do I encourage it, its shameful. However solve the problems at their roots, not through petitions.
http://fightthenewdrug.org/
http://fightthenewdrug.org/get-the-facts/
Kinita
No one has ever asked for street harassment. So the problem is definitely one sided.
T-star
Agreed. Whether you dress decently or not walking on a public street in Sri Lanka means you'll receive all sorts of comments. I once decided to walk to a nearby supermarket
probably 1.5km away. A motorcyclist followed me requesting my phone number, despite saying I wasn't interested…to leave me alone, that I am married, that I do not want to give my number. It finally dawned on me that walking is not an option…and it wasn't fair, it was my town and I should have been able to walk to wherever I wanted peacefully. Yet it was too much to ask for.
indi YAMU STAFF
The root of street harassment is not pornography. Most countries have access to porn but not all have street harassment.
Street harassment is its own issue with its own root causes, but it is above all a crime. There's no two-sided issue here, public spaces need to be safe for everyone.
kp
Catcalling existed during the 50s and 60s as well- well before porn came round. What, I wonder, is your pseudoscientific theory there.
fighter
Kinita, indi & KP,
I didn't intend to say that the whole street harrasment issue sprung from porn. To me it seemed relative and the fueling of sexual frustration is greatly induced by porn. Out of good will, I though I'd share my knowledge on what I've learnt about porn to make awareness.
KP, it may seem like pseudoscience now. I don't feel the need to go out of my way to explain why its not. Whats scientific is very subjective. It was science that said "smoking cured allergies" and cocaine was endorsed for dental anesthesia.
Bob
Cocaine IS indeed an anaesthetic. It's just that today, there are safer alternatives available so cocaine is no longer used as an anaesthetic,.
Chellan
Street harassment is a real issue. The author may not agree, but it happens to both men and women; but the ones who harasses the other is always a man. The problem is why men do it. It cannot be simply stopped by education or any other thing. Self-pleasuring will not help at all. It is like this, consuming alcohol everyday will not solve the alcohol problem one is having. Similarly, one's thirst for porn or general profanity will not end just by cathartic experiences like self-pleasuring. And it will not stop too. But the issue is real and it is shameful that as a country we go down each day. What is to be proud of if a women cannot walk in the street peacefully.
Kinita
If you read the article, I've actually mentioned it happens to men too, in 3 separate instances.
Peththappu + Landslider + Linesman
Being a very conservative society as much as ours is, you fail to highlight the provocation aspect. While everyone reserves the right to dress and present themselves as they please, this invites potential harassment from the street level. If you happen to expose a bit too much or are too flashy, then chances are you will get some undesirable feedback. Then again, thats the whole point right? why would you dress in an exceptional way if not to invite feedback of some sorts. It's fine when someone says 'damn girl, you look fine' but not so much when someone says 'ahhh nangi,sexxxy ah'. So long as the feedback is in proper english or posh enough, i doubt you'd mind.
At the end of the day its a class war. Most women from the affluent and 'refined' backgrounds would want to have nothing to do with lowlife characters from the street, if only to have them gaze upon you as if you were god's greatest gift. Fact is while i am by no means defending the crass behavior of the persons guilty of the said 'harassment' lets also not ignore the fact that unlike women from 'most countries' (that have access to porn), most women from the affluent and 'refined' backgrounds, are a bunch of stuck up and selective beings who are at home with their own crowd and wouldn't give two sh!ts about the working class blue color type who (let's face it) compose a majority of the offenders in this discussion of harassment. Most ladies from other more liberal countries are way more laid back and congenial with folks from all walks of life.
indi YAMU STAFF
There is no 'provocation aspect'. There is nothing a woman wears or doesn't wear that forces someone else to do anything. Men are not mindless, we are capable of self-control and following the law and we deserve consequences if we don't.
A woman has the right to wear what she wants. It is illegal to harass her.
And look at our survey results, it doesn't matter if you're 12 years old in uniform or an Achchi in a sari, everyone gets harassed. And it's not a class thing either, the vast majority of people being harassed are women and children taking the bus or walking the streets.
Aisha
"'damn girl, you look fine' but not so much when someone says 'ahhh nangi,sexxxy ah'. So long as the feedback is in proper english or posh enough, i doubt you'd mind. "
Newsflash, we actually DO mind.
ICallCats
And the plot thickens :)
Jean Valjean
There is no question about the legal aspect of this. It is illegal to harass someone. Understood. It is wrong. So is stealing, isn't it? it is illegal and it is wrong. But most of us used to see Jean Valjean (Les Misérables) in a different light. Yes he steals. But he steals because he is hungry. So instead of accusing him of stealing, we used to blame economic inequality and social injustice. Of course you can't accuse rich people for being rich. That would be "victim blaming." But still most of us feel there's something wrong, when people like Jean Valjean starve, while rich people have more than enough. Some of us event go to the extend of even hating rich people. But i've never seen anyone calling Marxists "victim haters."
Just try to apply this logic to sexual harassment situation in Sri Lanka. There are plenty of people here are 'hungrier' than Jean Valjean for sex. Prostitution is illegal and expensive. Outside of club-gong Colombo elite, it is literally impossible to find a women for casual sex because of cultural restrictions. Jean Valjean somehow managed to steal a whole loaf of bread. But for these poor men the only way to fulfill their sexual 'hunger' is by looking at women at the street, groping them and lose their frustration by catcalling, which is more like just bread crumb.
Agreed. Innocent women becomes victim of this. Just like rich people too becoming victims of crimes in societies full of injustice. Criminals should be punished. But we can't end this without addressing the cause.
PaulBlacker
You're a f…king neanderthal… I sincerely hope one of these poor starving perverts gropes your mother!
saaj77
Dear Jean Valjean (aka twisted perverted caveman who has access to the internet),
As per your twisted and perverted and unfathomable logic, Kindly explain to be how cat calling helps one of those supposed sex starved Jean Valjean heroes to satisfy their sexual craving? I have always been curious to know what goes inside the mind of a demented caveman, so please indulge me.
curious
I suppose education is the key, that boys and men should be taught to respect women, and their bodies and that women have as much a right to freely utilize public space.
Its's odd in a way too, while I consider 'ah nangi' as an uninvited comment, I have seen in public transport (train) how that comment actually led to a flirtatious conversation between a girl and a man… I was utterly shocked to say the least.
Like it or not, there seem to be something of the part of society you come from playing a part in it too….
Kinita
The number of anonymous comments on this that agree that street harassment is bad but then go on to justify the behaviour of the perpetrators is shocking.
Working class women, NOT the "elite", are undoubtedly the most severely affected by this issue, and often do not have the empowerment to be able to speak up, and end up giving up on careers or education due to stalking and harassment. They don't have the option of taking a taxi/driver short distances rather than walk.
Furthermore, I've been hollered at by plenty of decent-looking blokes in shirts and ties (especially around WTC for example) in the afternoon, in perfect English, and I can assure you I was in no way flattered. If anything, I was extra angry because the erroneous assumption is that they would know better.
This is not a class issue, because then surely it would be the poor hollering at all rich regardless of gender. It's not an issue about desire or attraction, so neither clothing nor porn come into play. It's about aggression, power, and letting women or other marginalized groups feel as though they ought to be scared.
If you chaps all agree that street harassment/ sexual assault/ molestation is horrific, stop blaming rich women, porn, clothing, and linguistic barriers. Start blaming the men who do it, and the society and culture that condones or excuses their behaviour.
Madavi
Hey girl
Is it illegal to use tasers on these dick heads?
Arya
It is.
But I really don't think the police will do much about it. (Except maybe a slap on your face. But that's only higher officers. Good policemen only grope our breasts.)
Btw, "dickhead" and "dick head" are *entirely* different things.
Kandalama Mohan
I don't think these lovely ladies in yamu understand why I cat call all day. You don't know what it's like to be ignored constantly :(
Sirimal
The people at http://www.Yamu.com do not realise that when I see a provocatively dressed lady I just cant help it. I become possessed by Ravana himself, who uses all his primal Aryan might- the might of a thousand Sanskrit warriors- to contort my mouth and air passage to resonate a bawdy whistle at a nearby slightly round human on the bus. I just cannot help it. How can Yamu understand, have you read the Mahabharata? Do you understand the forces we men are dealing with? You cannot contend with such forces of sheer masculinity.
Just the other day a woman looked at me. She was scanning the bus and her eyes happened to fall upon mine. Such a provocative action left me uncontrollable. What's worse was I saw her elbows. I apologise to the good clean readers of http://www.Yamu.lk/blog for such vulgar descriptions, but I had to illustrate the level of provocation I faced. Another time a woman was wearing sandals. Her toes were flailing about for all to see. So I simply had to hiss. Sure she was 80 years old and balding. She also had a moustache and a pot belly, and wore a shirt and trousers and her friends called her Nimal.
wait
SaraZonia
Find yourself a girl right now, click here
Palitha
When Europeans came to Sri Lanka our women went about topless. The Europeans made us feel ashamed of our bodies and in fact 'sexualized' it. Then we have our TV stations showing slum' 'liberty girl' garbage, assisted by our ex-patriots who live in slums in Europe/USA and bring the 'tight clothes/torn jeans' 'fashion' to SL… end result we have the above stated problem. This opinion is NOT original, my daughter did a study of it in her University degrees (note the plural) with one being in (World) Economics…