News Curry Pot.

News Curry is a satrical news site that spoofs Sri Lankan news stories. "Breaking News and serving it up with some poppadum" is their motto but it's not nearly as good as their headlines, We've picked out the top 12 funniest News Curry headlines for you. 

Image obtained from memegenerator.net

“Although Volleyball is our national sport, we need to play to our strengths. Queue jumping is much more popular, so much so that people everywhere practice it even when just waiting in line at the supermarket when there is just one person ahead of them.”

“Yahapaalanaya is only applicable in Sri Lanka. I made this statement in Switzerland so it does not need to have met the standards of Good Governance set out by the President. This is the World Economic Forum and so I was a little economical with the truth.” 

Former Sri Lanka Cricket Captain and All round Hypocrite, Arjuna Ranatunga, issued a statement saying the appointment of this brother, Dhammika, to the position of Chairman of the Ports Authority was not a case of nepotism as his favourite brother is actually Nishantha Ranatunga. 

A spokesperson for Sri Lankan Airlines said, “We are looking at upgrading the quality of alcohol served on the flight so our pilots can get drunk mid-air and not on take off. Most landings make it seem like the pilot is drunk so we might as well let them have an actual drink.”

 “Under Yahapaalanaya we believe in consistency and stability. So if any of the charges levelled against me are substantiated then I will go home around 5pm. I will then proceed to have a cup of tea, enjoy a dinner later, watch highlights of the 96 World Cup final and go to bed.”

One potential car buyer said “Inventing teleportation is cheaper than buying a car in Sri Lanka and it will be quicker to travel. It will also solve the problem of tardiness amongst Lankans. I shouldn’t be talking to you as I was supposed to be at a meeting two hours ago. But do you have any other questions?”

“Unfortunately and maybe unsurprisingly he had access to some off- shore funds which meant he managed to pay for his return ticket. We were actually happy to fund not just his ticket but also living expenses for up to a year had he decided to stay on. Now it looks like we will have to deal with his nonsense for a while longer,” 

“This domestic dispute which is playing out in the public sphere is doing wonders for our sales. We have our fingers crossed that Mr Z will follow through with the suggest album title of ‘Bitter Lemon’. We have also proposed to Prince’s estate that any unrealised material from the recently deceased artist be published under the title ‘Portello’ as there is synergy in colour and Ed Sheeran’s new album be called ‘Ginger Beer’.”

Image obtained from nerdist.com

The Bar Association of Sri Lanka said that the Dawn of Justice has been severely delayed in the country despite the clear evidence of wrong doing especially by politicians in several cases due to their undue influence of the system, and have advised the public to go and watch the Dawn of Justice at cinemas instead.

Image obtained from colombotelegraph.com

“The current Government are spreading false propaganda but they should know that no one can beat me at that game."

  

Speaking at a press conference which turned out to be a roaring success, a spokesman for the lions said, “We lions are not racist – we are non-discriminate scavengers and will eat anyone.”

The on-going sea border dispute between Sri Lanka and India which has resulted in a number of fishermen from both countries being arrested and a resultant shortage of fish has also impacted the life of legendary pescatarian Surangani.`

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on whatsapp

Highlights.

Latest.

KAMU.

Satisfy your Kottu cravings at KottuLabs

Located in Nawala down a little lane, Kottulabs is home to the widest and most

Highlights Kamu

A flavorful journey to the North East by Paadum Meen

An ecstatically beautiful place located down Frankfort place, Bambalapitiya has caught a significant eye for

Highlights Kamu

Hummus Festival 2022 – Graze Kitchen by Hilton

By Shamrina Carim The stunning atmosphere Walking into this masterpiece designed by an excellent interior

Kamu

A Luxury European Dining experience at 1864 Limited Edition

Ambience Intimate dining area for couples and friends Comfy lounge areas to sit and catch

Highlights Kamu

Pizza Hut – My Box Birizza Fever- review

By Sumaiya Jaleel Hurrah! Welcome back to your scrumptious feast. Pizza Hut has brought back

Highlights Kamu

The Hottest Food Fest of the Year: Eat Street Colombo

By Janani Vithanage After a 2 year (Covid induced break), Sri Lanka’s biggest, best food

Highlights Kamu

Trending.

Tom Cruise Returns As The Iconic Fighter Pilot In Top Gun: Maverick

Scope Cinemas Premieres Top Gun: Maverick Starring Tom Cruise Colombo, Sri Lanka - 26 May

Trending

Things you Should Know About Monkeypox

By Janani Vithanage As Sri Lanka navigates what seems like the worst financial crisis she’s

Highlights Trending

 Unique Burger Promotion at Hilton Colombo

Hilton Colombo is presenting five unique burgers at Café Kai, LAB and SunsetBlu from 28th

Trending

Ramada by Wyndham Colomb Wins 2022 Tripadvisor Travelers’ Choice Award 

Ramada by Wyndham Colombo is recognized with the 2022 Tripadvisor Travelers' Choice Award for the

Trending

‘Encounters’: The Second Exhibition by the Museum of Modern and Contemporary Art Sri Lanka

-  A walk through history that gives you a feel of déjà vu, especially when

Trending

Cinnamon Lakeside Colombo’s ColomBar moves to newly refurbished location

04 May2022, Colombo: Colombo’s iconic and stylish destination bar, ColomBar, has been re-located to its

Trending

Yamu Guide.

7 Restaurants to dine in June 2022

Here is a mix of aesthetically pleasing restaurants that are known for their Instagrammable background

Highlights Yamu Guide

The Embazzy – a relaxing luncheon spot

By Hiruni Herath Service and Ambience Stepping into The Embazzy, it’s clear that the restaurant

Highlights Yamu Guide

What to expect at a Yala National Park Safari

Covering an extensive area of Southern and Uva Provinces, Yala is the second largest national

Yamu Guide

Everything you need at Online Kade

Located in the heart of Rajagiriya Online Kade also has a branch in Colombo 04

Yamu Guide

5 Co-working spaces in Colombo

By Tashia Ranasinghe Here are some more interesting places for all the digital nomads out

Highlights Yamu Guide

7 Buffets to Indulge In this Easter 2022

By Janani Vithanage As the youth of our nation make their voices heard, the birth

Yamu Guide